Time

Today was a rough day!! Everyone keeps saying "time, Time will make everything begin to feel better", As for me I am beginning to see how untrue that is. Everyday seems to hurt more and more. It just still does not feel real. I didn't think something like this could happen to our family. I did have that outlook no way, not me. She was my absolute best friend. I couldn't wait for the summer to come to take her to the beach! There were so many things that I wanted to go through with her as mother and daughter and to have the ripped from you in all of 5 minutes, I really have to say is unbearable!!No one deserves to feel this pain. There are times I wait for her to turn the corner from the livingroom, and she doesn't. The feeling inside my stomach is unexplainable. I think the only thing that can keep us all sane through this are the memories and knowing the type of little girl she was. She didn't want you to cry, she didn't want you to be angry. All these emotions I begin to feel I have to let go of and think of her smile. I then realize that's what she wants. She wants us all to smile, think of her and laugh!! She adored her brother and her brother adored her. They had their moments as any other brother and sister,However you have to keep in mind there was 6 years between them. They were so tight. They would play, laugh and he protected her with everything he had. They themselves have so many memories together in such a short period of time. The picture with this entry is them obviously Christmas morning, Alex was trying to play with his new toys from Santa and Hailey wanted to be right in there with him.Normally Alex wouldn't have had a problem with that, however she had the stinkiest diaper that morning,I thought Alex was going to lose it for the short period of time he had to sit with her to get this picture. Wherever she may be at this very second I only hope she is watching us and realizing just how special of a little girl she was and will always be to us. Mommy,Daddy and Alex miss you bug!!