Monday, July 06, 2009

Can you tell their sisters!! ;)







My little Bella turned 21 months this past Friday, which was the age that I lost my Hailey bug at. I am hoping that once we get past 21 months I will be not so lunaticish!! LOL!



Time marches and I will never forget Hailey....though I have to say having Isabella is sometimes also still a piece of her sister.....There are times where I can see certain Hailey charateristics.



Having Bella at the beach this weekend brought back so many good memories but also made so many good new ones!! She loved the beach, she loved her boat rides with pop pop as did Hailey. I think Hailey was with them on their boat rides this weekend. I still get a lump in my throat when I come on here to type...maybe thats why I do it. Maybe its my time where I want to feel that pain for her again. I want her to know that even though I go through lifes daily activities she is still apart of "us" and I still hurt not having her here. I go back and think about that night that I lost her and still wonder if I could have done more?? Did I not try hard enough??Was there too much panic in me?? I will never know... but I do hope she knows how loved and missed she will always be. How she changed the person I am today.

3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Amanda I can’t even put into words what an amazing woman you are! I admire your strength and courage SO much! You are so right; so many times we get caught up in the day to day grind of things and forget what’s really important, why we are really here. It's to LIVE, LAUGH & LOVE! Your tomorrow is never promised that’s why it’s called the "PRESENT" Because each and every day is a gift. In reading some of your post that’s exactly what it sounds like you did with your Haliey Bug! You loved here more any words can ever say!

12:34 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you so much!! So true and I love that saying about the present, thats awesome!! I did love my bug and still do....she has taught me many lessons and my little Bella and Alex all reap the benefits of it.....:0)

PS Who is this??

XOXO
Love Amanda

4:42 PM  
Blogger Th3 Pr1nc3ss~Solis~ said...

I can soooo relate to your blog! I really liked what you said about it not mattering if you remember important dates, and how that means you love your kids more. I agree. You are living in the moment & that's something sooo many people forget to do! They're kids lives will pass'em by while they're missing all the action in the moment & cherishing it! I really like it. I just started my 1st blog chronicling my yearlong journey though A Course In Miracles to see if it really works. Lol. I learned that same lesson of living in the moment very early in on my journey with ACIM! So it caught my attention when you mentioned it. Anyhow, come by if you get the chance. You might like it.
My blog is:
http://princesssolisacim1fearego.blogspot.com/2010/03/my-yearlong-journey-through-course-in.html

4:27 AM  

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