Forever Our Little Girl

I always promised I would never let anything happen to either one of my children.I always thought that it was always in my control. I found out the hard way that it is not in anyone's control!I wake up in the morning thinking I can get out of bed and go in her room to get her, I can't she's not there. It's not fair. I want to stomp my feet and beg like a little kid to get back what I want. I don't understand did we do something to not deserve her? I so badly want to sit down and put into words how I feel, but there are too many emotions flying through me to word them properly.I can only hope that one day I can sit down and put them into beautiful words for her, in memory of her. God knows she is enough inspiration!! When he took my little girl not only did he take my daughter, but he took my best friend and a part of me. She made me who I am today. In the two years she was here, she taught me a lot!! She was my world.I can only tell you that she may not be here with us anymore, but she will forever live on with me. On her birthday we will be down there with her cake, on Christmas, she will have her own battery operated Christmas tree( I already ordered it!) She will live on, on a daily basis. I have a void and no matter what I do I can not fill it. The part I can't get past is this feeling inside, I keep saying I don't want this feeling anymore,make it go away. Then I realize it will never go away.It will never subside. I had a dream the other night that the hospital called and said I could come and pick her up, that she had leukemia, but they made it go away and I could come and pick my baby girl up. When I got there, it was my daughter and her name was Hailey but it looked nothing like how Hailey looked in real life. This little girl that was Hailey in my dream had dark brown hair, bright crystal blue eyes and a red bow in the top of her hair. When I woke up that morning after the dream I literally got out of bed to walk into her bedroom to get her out of her crib, But then as I turned into her door the door was locked and it all came back. She was not in there. I need her,I want her, I miss her, I want to see her, I want to hold her, I want to hug and kiss her. I want to do so many things that were so unfailry taken away from me. There is a song by Liann Rimes,the song is my song to my little girl . I am going to put the lyrics on here tonight. The song gives me chills and makes me cry,but yet at the same time makes me happy and only hope she knows that it is the truth!