Selfish

I was just sitting here watching one of my favorite shows called "Without a Trace", Probably one of the shows I shouldn't be watching with everything that had happened recently but I'm into all of those shows,Law and order,CSI etc..,sometimes I wonder if I got into the wrong field.Anyway getting back to the point,it makes me want to make a difference in this world.It makes me want to get out there and just be able to save one family's child. I wonder daily what would have happened had my little girl been brought to a hospital that was well prepared for pediatric trauma,why is it these hospitals can call themselves hospitals, but not be equipped for children. They then should not be called a hospital,they should be called nothing but a nursing home. You are not supposed to leave the hospital without one of your children, you are not supposed to bury your children, your children are supposed to bury you.Everyone says he had reason for taking my little girl,he has a plan for her. Who is he to make that decision for my daughter? I brought her into this world and I went through how many hours of labor,How is it that he can make that decision for me? I said not to long ago in front of Alex that,"God was selfish", Alex looked at me with this death stare,I then realized I said something in front of him that I should not have however it did not change my theory at that point.A couple of days later Alex approached me and said"Mommy,God isn't selfish, you still have me."You don't realize the things you say to a kid really stick and how they dwell on it,it's amazing! I still feel as though he was selfish in his ways, I only hope he did have a good reason for making the decision he made.She will never be forgotten nor replaced. She was a one and only,nobody could top her!I feel honored to be her mother and to be the one who brought her into this world.She was a true blessing and forever will be our little angel!