The Move
.4.jpg)
Whelp we are in the new house,exciting, however I feel like something is missing-Gee I wonder what that could be?? I knew I was going to have a tough time leaving the old house and starting a fresh here, however I feel like we left her behind!! Today was a rough day!! I woke up this morning thinking I had so many things to do, and all of a sudden everything cancelled. It then left me home alone. Alex was at his dad's and Frank was at work. I was sitting on the couch and all of a sudden got really upset. So I said to myself obviously this is Hailey's way of saying Mommy come and visit me. So I got in my car and went to visit her. When I got down there the pin wheels started going nuts, Frank and I use that as like when they spin she knows we are down there,yeah I know sounds crazy but whatever makes you feel better-right?? So I got so upset down there today, I don't know why but lately it's been bad. It seems like the holidays are going to be tough. Even though it's only the fourth of July, it still hurts that she's not here to experience it!! I just think what would she be doing right now in the new house. I can see her now prancing her ruby red slippers all over the wood floors to hear the noise they would make!! Or she would stand on the marble piece in front of the fireplace and try and jump off!! God-I wonder how she would do on the stairs!! She would have a field day only there's one problem-she's not here to have it!! Can you believe the medical examiner still has not given us answers?? Hailey bug Mommy,Daddy and Alex miss you so much and I hope you don't think we left you behind in the other house you are always with us no matter where we go!! FOREVER!!
posted by Angel In Disguise at 6/30/2006 11:25:00 PM
2 Comments:
I know it must be so hard to try to start fresh and new, and want so much to share it with Hailey. I share in your pain and wish so much I could take that pain away. I know that you know you did not leave her behind--she is with you wherever you go and of course always in your heart. Holidays will be difficult I'm sure, but know you have the love and support of family to guide you through them. Please know that we are here for you to talk to, yell with, cry with,reminice with whatever it is...doesn't matter, we will be there for you. Your sweet girl is watching over you,Frank and Alex she is your Angel...Always
It's hard, but what are we gonna do.unfortunetaly in this situation there is nothing anyone can do to make it better-it's weird because never in my life when I thought I had a problem-did I, because it was always fixable or healable-this just isn't in any way shape or form.Haoliday are the worst-Frank and I were talking about taking Alex to Disney for Christmas just to get out of here-ya know? It's messed up though because one morning you wake up and your okay,but then the next morning or two mornings later etc.. you wake up and you wake up to tears and that is how your day will be.I hate those days, because you can't help to wonder if your feeling that way because in general the sadness or if she is up there missing you and this is her way of letting you know think of me mommy!!This morning was one of those mornings, I woke up crying and all day someone just has to look at me the wrong way and I cry! I call it my fragile days!!She is watching over all of us!! Especially all of the kiddies in the family,she loved to be with the kids!!And old people forget it, she always made the grumpiest ones smile!!I remember we were in CVS standing on line and there was this old grumpy man,yelling at his wife-When he spotted Hailey he stopped dead in the middle of yelling and started playing and laughing with Hailey. His wife was shocked she was like he doesn't play with his grandchildren like this,I truly believe she was an angel and we said it because it's one of those things you sometimes call children but never again will I call a child that for one and two I think she was set here for something and she accomplished whatever it was!She sure changed the person I am today!! I love her and miss her daily and I just wish I could atleast pick up the phone and dial 1800-heaven or something to atleast talk to her!!
Post a Comment
<< Home