Tears From Heaven
It's so weird because I can just be sitting there whether it be watching T.V. or actually sleeping, I don't even have to be thinking about anything and all of a sudden the tears just turn on. The other night Frank and I were watching T.V. and were really into the show we were watching, all of a sudden I just started crying and I immediately knew what I was crying about, but I originally wasn't thinking about it. The other morning I was sound asleep, when I woke up at 6:00 AM I was hysterically crying. It's almost like Hailey is up there saying "ok mommy, It's time to start crying". Once it starts I cannot stop it for hours! I look at her picture on my computer screen and I find myself take the arrow from my mouse to rub her face, I want to touch her so bad!! I miss her so much, I miss hearing her little feet run through the house, Her scream Daddy when he would come home. The best was when he would be getting ready for work in the morning and she would hear him and she would stand up in her crib and call his name until he came in to say Good morning to her. She was absolutely obsessed with Alex. She idolized the ground that kid walked on. Come to think of it she was just so loving to us all, she was so different from any other kid I know. I am s sorry and many may take offense but she was unique and special she was like no other. I just wish there was away to get her back. I said to Frank," you make everything else happen for me, he makes the impossible for me and why can't he do this??" He doesn't get angry because he knows how much he has done for me,Alex and Hailey and it just frustrates him that he can't fix this for us and himself! Haley baby we love you and miss you like you don't believe!! You are our baby girl and forever will be!!
posted by Angel In Disguise at 6/05/2006 04:56:00 PM
2 Comments:
I,KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN ABOUT THE TEARS IT HAPPEN ALL THE TIME TO ME I STILL GET THAT FEELING IN SIDE ME THAT FEELING IN MY STOMACH THAT I CANT EXPLAIN? I MISS HER SO MUCH I WISH I COULD DO SOMETHING IJUST DONT KNOW!!WELL HAILEY BABY I MISS YOU SO MUCH!
Ya know I still get that feeling as well, and I realized the other night I realized I get that feeling when I am angry!! So maybe you just don't realize how angry this has made you, because we are so caught up in the hurt we forget about the anger thats lingering!I have learned so much, there is nothing important, this is life you live it once and there is nothing worse than losing one of your children, so bring it on I can handle it!!As far as people go and trying to hurt me or make me angry I am done they are so not worth it!! I love my children, Frank and everyone around me and as long as they and I know that everything will be ok! I miss my6 little girl and as I said before the man upstairs better be ready for me when I get there because he will have alot of explaining to do.
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