Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Memories, the good and the bad!




I don't know sometimes about the emotions that run through me!! It could be completely out of nowhere! The other night I was sitting with Frank at the kitchen table feeding the baby, all of a sudden the tears just started to flow. He looked at me and asked "what is wrong?" I couldn't answer him at first because it took a minute for me to realize that I was crying about my missing angel girl........ She just hit me that night like a ton of bricks. Its hurts and there is nothing to soothe that pain when you feel it!! I miss her, I miss her everyday of my life. She will never be out of my heart and every day that I wake up I begin to realize that more and more. It hurts that I can't remember things.. I can't remember how she talked, other than certain things she said, I can't remember how she felt, I can't remember if I hugged her that day or even if I kissed her. The part that I can remember is her going limp in my arms, her turning bright red and sticking her hands in her mouth....How come I can remember all the bad things from that night and they constantly replay in my head yet I cannot remember all of the good???Someone shed some light on that for me...because it almost feels like because I can't remember all of the good yet I can remember the bad that it was all a dream, this little girl that I love more than anything and thought I had this close bond with.........did I??? Was I there enough, these are all things you begin to question........


I love you baby girl!!!

1 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

well yes you kissed her every day all the time hugs were the same because you know as well as I know being there every day there wasnt a day that would go by that you couldnt want to just eat her up she was specal she just got us every time. You could not want to spend time with her.So amanda dont forget the good times I know the other night when we talked you rember all those good things and fun things you did with her. love mom

9:32 PM  

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