SCARED

WE ARE SCARED AND I DON'T WANT TO COME ON THIS BLOG AND SPEAK OF THE NEW BABY, I FEEL THAT THIS IS HAILEY'S SITE AND THAT I AM TAKING AWAY FROM THAT. HOWEVER WHAT I AM ABOUT TO SPEAK ABOUT HIGHLY INVOLVES THE LITTLE BUG. AS I STARTED SAYING WE ARE SCARED, WE DON'T LET ON TO THAT BECAUSE WE ARE HOPING AND PRAYING FOR THE BEST. HOWEVER PART OF ME CAN'T HELP TO FEEL THAT HAILEY WOULD NOT LET THAT HAPPEN TO US AGAIN. I SOMETIMES HAVE THIS FEELING THAT SHE IS NOW IN CONTROL, AND THEN I HAVE TO STOP AND WAKE MYSELF UP TO THAT SHE WAS ONLY 23 MONTHS OLD. HOW CAN SHE HAVE ALL THAT CONTROL AND IS IT FAIR OF US TO ASK HER TO MAKE SURE ISABELLA IS A HEALTHY LITTLE GIRL??? I GUESS THATS WHERE MY GUILT COMES IN. I STILL SIGN HAILEY'S NAME TO CARDS,I STILL CONSIDER MYSELF A MOTHER OF TWO AND WHEN ISABELLA COMES I WILL THEN BE A MOTHER OF THREE. I JUST ASK FOR A HEALTHY BABY AND I JUST ASK THAT HAILEY ACCEPT THIS WHOLE THING.....BECAUSE IF I WAS HER LOOKING DOWN I DON'T KNOW HOW I WOULD FEEL SEEING MY MOMMY AND DADDY WITH ANOTHER BABY....