What to believe??

Let me start off by saying how adorable she looked on this day. She had the cutest little sun dress on with her little bandana to match. She was adorable!!Look at everyone of these pictures and look at the sparkle in this kids eyes.You go day to day with your new routine,not happily but because you have too. I speak to many people whom include me in on their thoughts and prayers. They also inlcude me in their beliefs. Prior to any of this happening to my little girl, I believed there was a God however I didn't really practice a specific religion for myself. When I was younger my parents took my sister and I to Sunday school but then oneday we just stopped going. Like I said I believed there was a God but didn't really think much into a religion. As for my children I wanted them to have a religion and something to be able to fall back on. I myself am Lutheran, My two children were baptized catholic. Alex will be making his communion on 4/29/06!! Anyway Hailey was catholic as well. In talking to people after all of this happened I take in their belief systems,you would be surprised how many beliefs are out there!! I take it in and I find away to relate to it. For example someone said that you are put back here(reincarnated) until you have learned all God wants you to learn. So I like I said try and find away to relate this to that belief. I thought to myself "ok,well she was only here for 21 months what could she of learned in that time, and what I came up with is because she was only here for 21 months a short period of time, She must have learned how to be loved." I got to teach that little angel,Gods angel what it is like to be loved. This is just like I said an example of someones belief and how I found away to relate my situation in a positive way with it.
Hailey was unique, Hailey was special and I did know that from day 1! I feel honored to of been her mommy! It hurts and it hurts everyday. There is not a second that goes by where I don't think of my daughter,my best friend. My life revolved around her and I am so proud to have been able to love her. Those 21 months of wonderful memories can never be taken from me. Everyday I will talk to her,everyday I will put time aside to think of all the wonderful times I shared with her. I don''t understand why this happened to me and my family and probably never will. Ya know, I look at all the wonderful people I have around me day to day. My dad, formed a childrens foundation to help children who are ill and need help financially to get the medical care they need and that wasn't enough he still had to take a child from our family?? Maybe I sound selfish but none of this makes sense to me. I never knew how supportive the family I have is and thats goes out to everyone, I thank you all!! I don't know how we are going to keep going everyday with out her because it truly is a gut wrenching hurt where I feel it in my throat and in my stomach. I am lost without her, But lucky to have such a wonderful supportive family! Everyone has pulled through for the three of us! She was and will always be my world,my first daughter,my best friend., my everything and I will hold on to everyhting that I can to keep her going. She will always and forever be apart of our family. She will go on for as long as we do! I love you baby girl and everynight I make sure I find that moon,because I know thats you looking down on mommy,daddy and Alex saying Hi!! I love you!! Sleep tight and make sure you say Good night to the world!! God This kills me....