PIN WHEEL, PIN WHEEL SPINNIN AROUND.....

I WENT TO THE CEMETERY YESTERDAY MORNING TO VISIT THE LITTLE BUG AND LIKE USUAL AS I APPROACHED THE PIN WHEELS STARTED SPINNING. BASICALLY LETS FRANK AND I KNOW IF SHE IS THERE WITH US OR NOT. SO AS I APPROACHED AND SAW THEM SPINNING I GOT EXCITED!! AS I SAT DOWN THERE I WAS TALKING TO HER. NEXT THING I KNEW I WAS ASKING HER QUESTIONS AND AS I ASKED THE QUESTIONS THE PIN WHEEL WOULD SPIN AND THEN STOP SPINNING, SO I TOOK IT AS WHEN THE PIN WHEEL DIDN'T SPIN THAT WAS A NO AND WHEN IT DID SPIN THAT WAS A YES!! I KNOW CALL ME CRAZY BUT I SWEAR THIS IS WHAT WAS HAPPENING!! I ASKED HER IF SHE MISSES US AND THE PIN WHEEL STARTED SPINNING, I THEN ASKED HER IF SHE KNEW HOW MUCH WE MISSED HER AND AGAIN THE PIN WHEEL STARTED SPINNING. I THEN ASKED HER IF SHE WOULD BE UPSET IF MOMMY AND DADDY DECIDED TO HAVE ANOTHER BABY AND THE PIN WHEEL DIDN'T SPIN SO I TOOK IT AS A NO, I THEN ASKED HER IF I WERE TO HAVE ANOTHER BABY IF IT WOULD BE HER AND AGAIN THE PIN WHEEL DID NOT SPIN, WHELP THAT'S WHEN I STARTED CRYING BECAUSE OUT OF ALL OF THE QUESTIONS I ASKED I SO WANTED THE PIN WHEEL TO SPIN ON THAT ONE!! FINALLY I ASKED HER IF SHE COULD HELP ME CONVINCE THAT DADDY OF HERS TO WANT ANOTHER BABY RIGHT NOW AND AGAIN THE PIN WHEEL DID NOT SPIN, AND I KNOW WHAT SHE WAS THINKING ON THAT ONE, I CANNOT CONVINCE THAT THICK HEADED MAN TO DO ANYTHING MA!!! =) HAHAHA!! I LEFT THE CEMETERY THAT DAY FEELING LIKE I ACCOMPLISHED A LITTLE MORE WITH HER, I LEFT THERE ALMOST FEELING LIKE I REALLY GOT TO SPEND SOME GOOD QUALITY TIME WITH HER, I KNOW IT SOUNDS WEIRD BUT IT MADE ME FEEL GOOD, I GUESS!! I MISS HER AND I WILL TAKE WHAT I CAN GET OUT OF THE LITTLEST AND MOST CRAZY MINDED THINGS!! I GO OUTSIDE AT NIGHT AND TALK TO THE MOON, I GO OUTSIDE AT NIGHT TO SEE IF I CAN HEAR HER THROUGH THE CRICKETS OR THE BIRDS DURING THE DAY. WHEN I AM DOWN VISITING HER I LOOK TO SEE AS I AM LEAVING IF THE WIND IS BLOWING ALMOST THROUGH ME TO SEE IF IT'S HER!! WHEN THE BOARD FELL AT THE LUAU IT WAS AGAIN ONE OF THOSE TIMES WHEN I WAS ABLE TO FEEL LIKE I SPENT SOME ADDITIONAL TIME WITH HER! I JUST WANT HER BACK, I WANT MY LITTLE HAILEY BUG BACK. I LOOK AT THE LITTLE GIRL STEPHANIE ACROSS THE STREET FROM ME AND I SO KNOW THEY WOULD HAVE BEEN WONDERFUL FRIENDS, STEPHANIE ALSO MAKES ME GO HOME AT NIGHT WANTING ANOTHER CHILD SO BAD, IS THAT NORMAL OR IS THAT ME TRYING TO REPLACE WHAT I LOST EVEN THOUGH I KNOW THAT LITTLE BUG OF OURS COULD NEVER BE REPLACED????HOW DO WE KNOW IF WE HAVE ANOTHER CHILD THIS ISN'T GOING TO HAPPEN AGAIN?? MAYBE THE MEDICAL EXAMINER WAS WRONG IN HER FINAL REPORT AND IT IS SOMETHING GENETIC, MAYBE IT'S SOMETHING THAT IS JUST GOING TO CONTINUE TO HAPPEN, WE CANNOT GO THROUGH THIS AGAIN!!HOW DO I KNOW IF IT IS SAFE FOR US TO MOVE FORWARD ON A DECISION?? I'M SCARED YET SO BADLY WANT TO MOVE FORWARD AND TRY AGAIN JUST TO GET A PIECE OF HER BACK.