NORMALCY

I JUST WANT TO KNOW HOW I USED TO FEEL INSIDE. I FORGET WHO I ONCE WAS.I WANT THIS HURT AND MASS CONFUSION TO GO AWAY. I WANT MY FAMILY BACK TO THE WAY IT ONCE WAS, I CAN'T SAY NORMAL BECAUSE THIS IS NORMAL, THIS IS GOING TO BE NORMAL FOR THE REST OF OUR LIVES.
I MISS MY LITTLE BUG. I WENT TO MARSHALLS THE OTHER DAY AND I WAS AT THE CHECK OUT LINE AND A VALENTINES DAY DECORATION CAUGHT MY EYE. IT WAS THE LAST ONE AND I HAD TO BUY IT. IT IS 3 LADY BUGS CLIMBING ACROSS THE TOP OF A BUNCH OF LETTERS THAT READ "BUGS AND KISSES", SO OBVIOUSLY THAT WAS MY SIGN, THAT WAS MY SIGN THAT NOT ONLY DOES SHE WANT ME TO DECORATE FOR VALENTINES DAY FOR HER BUT, SHE WAS LETTING ME KNOW THAT I AM BEING WATCHED BY HER AND SHE MISSES HUGGING AND KISSING US!! I CAN'T WAIT TO GET DOWN THERE TO PUT IT DOWN THERE.
SOMEONE TOOK THE GRAVE BLANKET THAT WE HAD DOWN THERE, ALONG WITH HER CONES FOR THE FLOWERS TO GO IN,THIS BOTHERS ME!!I HATE WHEN PEOPLE TAKE THINGS AWAY THAT THEY HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH. WE AS HER MOM AND DAD PUT THAT DOWN THERE, WHO ARE THEY TO TAKE IT AWAY??IT'S NOT LIKE IT WAS DYING OR ANYTHING!! OKAY I VENTED!!
HOW PATHETIC PICTURE NUMBER ONE IS A PICTURE THAT WE TOOK ON OUR WAY TO TAKING HAILEY TO THE DOCTORS AND PICTURE NUMBER 2 IS A PICTURE OF HER AT THE DOCTORS, HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE PICTURES TO POST OF THEIR CHILDREN AT THE DOCTORS??!! AND THE SADDEST PART IS I HAVE MORE THAN THIS!!ANY YET SHE HAS A SMILE ON HER FACE, AS ALWAYS!! I LOVE YOU BABY!!