I hate January..................

Whelp that time is arriving again.....third year that we are with out my little Bug!! Theres not a day that goes by where I don't think of her or wonder what she would be like today. I wonder how she would look, her personality etc.....all these wonders and answers I will never have. Sad. However when I think of the 21 months that I did have with her, I can smile and say I was blessed to have such a beautiful child in my life for such a short period of time yet learn a life time full of lessons . She made me who I am today, she took the "Amanda" that I once was and made her disappear........I am now who I am....... because of that 21 month old baby that I brought and watched come into this world, I watched her grow, I watched her sick yet never once let it get her down, almost like she knew she wasn't here forever, then I watched her leave this world so quick within a blink of an eye she was gone in my arms. She went to the hospital yet I knew she was gone and there was nothing anyone could do to change that. I still to this day watch her, I watch her make positive things happen to those who talk to her, I watch her look over her brother and sister, I watch her, I know she is still with us all in her own little way. I talk to her daily, I pray to her when I need her, she may be gone but forever she will be with us in so many special ways.