The Move

Whelp we are in the new house,exciting, however I feel like something is missing-Gee I wonder what that could be?? I knew I was going to have a tough time leaving the old house and starting a fresh here, however I feel like we left her behind!! Today was a rough day!! I woke up this morning thinking I had so many things to do, and all of a sudden everything cancelled. It then left me home alone. Alex was at his dad's and Frank was at work. I was sitting on the couch and all of a sudden got really upset. So I said to myself obviously this is Hailey's way of saying Mommy come and visit me. So I got in my car and went to visit her. When I got down there the pin wheels started going nuts, Frank and I use that as like when they spin she knows we are down there,yeah I know sounds crazy but whatever makes you feel better-right?? So I got so upset down there today, I don't know why but lately it's been bad. It seems like the holidays are going to be tough. Even though it's only the fourth of July, it still hurts that she's not here to experience it!! I just think what would she be doing right now in the new house. I can see her now prancing her ruby red slippers all over the wood floors to hear the noise they would make!! Or she would stand on the marble piece in front of the fireplace and try and jump off!! God-I wonder how she would do on the stairs!! She would have a field day only there's one problem-she's not here to have it!! Can you believe the medical examiner still has not given us answers?? Hailey bug Mommy,Daddy and Alex miss you so much and I hope you don't think we left you behind in the other house you are always with us no matter where we go!! FOREVER!!

Tears From Heaven

It's so weird because I can just be sitting there whether it be watching T.V. or actually sleeping, I don't even have to be thinking about anything and all of a sudden the tears just turn on. The other night Frank and I were watching T.V. and were really into the show we were watching, all of a sudden I just started crying and I immediately knew what I was crying about, but I originally wasn't thinking about it. The other morning I was sound asleep, when I woke up at 6:00 AM I was hysterically crying. It's almost like Hailey is up there saying "ok mommy, It's time to start crying". Once it starts I cannot stop it for hours! I look at her picture on my computer screen and I find myself take the arrow from my mouse to rub her face, I want to touch her so bad!! I miss her so much, I miss hearing her little feet run through the house, Her scream Daddy when he would come home. The best was when he would be getting ready for work in the morning and she would hear him and she would stand up in her crib and call his name until he came in to say Good morning to her. She was absolutely obsessed with Alex. She idolized the ground that kid walked on. Come to think of it she was just so loving to us all, she was so different from any other kid I know. I am s sorry and many may take offense but she was unique and special she was like no other. I just wish there was away to get her back. I said to Frank," you make everything else happen for me, he makes the impossible for me and why can't he do this??" He doesn't get angry because he knows how much he has done for me,Alex and Hailey and it just frustrates him that he can't fix this for us and himself! Haley baby we love you and miss you like you don't believe!! You are our baby girl and forever will be!!